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Do you work?

I’ll be honest, before I had children I was dismissive of mothers. Including working mothers. I saw how their attention was divided, how emotional they seemed to be about their children. I watched them leave early to go to assemblies, shows, concerts, parents evenings and games, and I questioned how committed they could ever be to their work.

Big mistake. Huge. Now I understand what being a working mother (parent) entails. Now that I have made my informed choice about the work I do. Now I have made peace with the changes my children have bought (wrought?). Now, now I see what commitment actually means.

It means taking charge of your own boundaries, rather than comfortably & unquestioningly slipping into someone else’s. It means constant adaptability & flexibility. It means having emotions of steel - because you have to be very very sure of what you’re doing and why to make a success of it. You have to abandon your ego and not give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks because dammit there simply isn’t time to accommodate the judgements of people who aren’t in your emotional bullseye. I could go on about the complex practicalities, the emotional rollercoaster, the self-will, the sacrifice, the midnight working..... but I’m sure others will come on and fill you in.

The point of this really is just to say thanks to Silke Thistlewood of Nourish to Thrive for making such an effort with the Tonbridge Mums in Business Group, and for the women who came last evening and made such a lovely evening of it. Good, practical information. Friendly conversation. Support. And wine! Whoop!


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